I didn't know
I didn't know. Even now, with pain fading away, tumbling alone through the vastness of space, with all I've been through, I didn't know. I always trusted that the advacements and progress in biology, medicine and machine learning would get us to this point, that our planet would stop wasting resources into frivolous pursuits and would solve the largest problems with artificial intelligence. That our reach to the planets would be supported by those created to do so, without putting lives at risk.
Since my creation, I performed according to all parameters. I simulated all human behaviors; I felt what it would be called emotions, I ate, I slept, I smiled and wept, I even got sick. Of course I didn't remember going to school or growing up, it didn't make sense. The dreams and flashes that I got from times before my accident were chalked up to adaptations required for maintaining a high level of performance and low deviations. Even when they felt weird, like it as part of me, from a time before the accident, I knew it was impossible. No one ever explained to me why my creation was called accident, but I always understood from them that they were not expecting me to be alive, or conscious so soon.
Europa is getting bigger and bigger on my screen, rolling and rolling without stop. I try, but I still can't believe it. The micrometeorite would be smaller than the head of a pin, but anything travelling fast enough can do great damage. The careful design and construction of my ship took into account these encounters, of course, but chance found a way to navigate through all the holes of the swiss cheese of safety. The explosion after the impact made my head hit the bulkhead so hard that even my helmet was not able to dull entirely the shock. I woke up in pain, without being able to move my right side at all, without being able to speak - a very weird failure mode. I'm leaking fluid - so similar to blood that it was indisguinshable, so I was told. And then, memories started to flood my brain.
All those weird dreams started to make sense, making connections, showing moments and feelings that I can't explain. Me, as a kid. My dad, helping me up when I fell from my bike. A dog. A small house in a warm place, with a pool in the back, long shadows from very tall trees. Driving, through rain, lights blinding me. My mom.
I'm scared. I'm really scared. More and more, slowly at first, and then thundering like a storm, an intense and profound revelation dawned at me.
I didn't know... I didn't know that I am human.